Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
