To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
