I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
