I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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