i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize