I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
