STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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