Why are handjobs necessary in class?
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
