Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
