I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
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His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
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Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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