be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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