I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
