I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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