considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
