just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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