Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i think my tv is drunk
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
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