I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Randomize
