My liver just broke up with me...
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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