And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
