he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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