Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
