dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Randomize
