Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
