We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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