If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
no you cant smoke seaweed
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize