Did you just see the Batmobile???
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
