He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
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