Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Randomize