I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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