You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize