Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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