Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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