There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
