Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(712): View more from Iowa

He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!

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(712): He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!! http://tfl.nu/bjv4

Replies (15) Good night (704) Bad night (5232)
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(813): View more from Florida

either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.

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(813): either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand. http://tfl.nu/9289

Replies (7) Good night (4221) Bad night (815)
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(601): View more from Mississippi

you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.

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(601): you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans. http://tfl.nu/q9cz

Replies (20) Good night (1703) Bad night (7226)
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.

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(484): Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever. http://tfl.nu/sgnv

Replies (9) Good night (4710) Bad night (790)
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(678): View more from Georgia

Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand

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(678): Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand http://tfl.nu/u3cn

Replies (5) Good night (835) Bad night (2282)
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(913): View more from Kansas

Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now

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(913): Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now http://tfl.nu/wp4u

Replies (35) Good night (7387) Bad night (866)
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(210): View more from Texas

Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.

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(210): Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors. http://tfl.nu/4w9v

Replies (20) Good night (3597) Bad night (1888)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

How's your threesome situation going?

(1-401): View more from Rhode Island

Optimistic

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(401): How's your threesome situation going? (1-401): Optimistic http://tfl.nu/dkbu

Replies (3) Good night (1659) Bad night (405)
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(253): View more from Washington

don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor

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(253): don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor http://tfl.nu/wvuf

Replies (9) Good night (1497) Bad night (402)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?

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(508): i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now? http://tfl.nu/8a2l

Replies (8) Good night (1443) Bad night (425)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.

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(215): tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts. http://tfl.nu/39iy

Replies (5) Good night (1159) Bad night (280)
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(514): View more from Quebec

i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.

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(514): i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag. http://tfl.nu/q8nn

Replies (10) Good night (821) Bad night (618)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face

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(860): You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face http://tfl.nu/wwpz

Replies (3) Good night (740) Bad night (484)
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(661): View more from California

This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.

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(661): This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas. http://tfl.nu/nydy

Replies (4) Good night (625) Bad night (348)
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(503): View more from Oregon

Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.

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(503): Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY. http://tfl.nu/gw0u

Replies (3) Good night (518) Bad night (178)

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