she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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