i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug