Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
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Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
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It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.