I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.