Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(214): View more from Texas

It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...

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(954): View more from Florida

I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.

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(301): View more from Maryland

The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.

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(979): View more from Texas

For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.

(512): View more from Texas

You. Win. At. Life.

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23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
Read it at the TFLN blog
(320): View more from Minnesota

He won't sleep with me again until I commit...

(1-320): View more from Minnesota

Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.

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(334): View more from Alabama

I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.

(334): View more from Alabama

I stand by my new policy.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.

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(947): View more from Michigan

if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee

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(520): View more from Arizona

My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.

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