Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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