You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
