You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
