he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
