i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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