Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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