Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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