: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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