im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
