Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Randomize