put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
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She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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