The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
