Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
