Nicole vs. Life
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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