Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
