highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
