Just mADE A PArabola og urine
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
