There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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