just come out here and I will go home with you...
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
