How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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