There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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