Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
