Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
We had to coat check the pizza.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
