i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
