How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
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