my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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